Your brain is the real reason you hate cyclists, sorry
The real enemy isn't the person on the bike; it’s the government's failure to build proper, separate bike paths to get them out of your way. Demanding that infrastructure gets built is the only way to actually fix the problem, and it means less traffic for you.
Bloody hell, bikes on a car blog? Yeah, look, sorry. Lots of motorists are cyclists. In fact, weirdly, a lot of car enthusiasts and motoring journalists are cyclists.
And really it's not that weird, when you think about it: it's another way to go fast and to feel proud of your strength, it's a healthy group activity, you can rip sick skids and the only 'woooop' you'll hear from behind is your cheering mates – and you get to smash some caffeine and croissants while admiring each others latest upgrades outside the nearest coffee joint.
Alas, that's merely a lot of motorists, and a lot is so damn far from most. Most Aussie motorists aren't cyclists. Most Aussie motorists either 'hate' cyclists, or view them as a problem that needs solving – ideally by kicking them off the road, since that requires no taxpayer investment.
Why, though?! You know why. Well, you think you do:
The sight of a cyclist weaving through traffic while you sit stuck there is infuriating. How fucking dare they?
😠 They don't even pay to be there!
✋ Myth. Most adult cyclists have at least a licence and usually a registered vehicle, meaning they pay for the roads just like you – and every minute they're on a bike is a minute you're causing more damage to the road than they are.
😠 And omgggg, the way they hog lanes, forcing us all to sit behind until we can go around!
✋ Misplaced fury. You've easily spent far more time stuck behind cars parked in clearways, or unable to get through an intersection blocked by idiots who didn't wait for the opposite side to clear before rolling into the square. (But you've been that idiot sometimes, so you don't dedicate any permanent brain space to those peeves.)
😠 Cyclists are always running red lights and ignoring the law!
✋ Othering. Motorists run red lights and ignore rules, too. This is just human behaviour and it's always a minority, but because cyclists seem like a different group, we 'other' them and highlight the behaviour we ignore in ourselves.
Now, if your comeback there is that a misbehaving motorist can be identified by their licence plate, I completely agree that it sucks we can't do the same with naughty cyclists! But, 1) the ratio of badly behaved cyclists to motorists is heavily stacked against the latter, 2) It would almost never make a difference.
Police don't take action on a phoned-in licence plate unless a very serious incident has occurred (they're not going to visit a motorist who ran a red light just because you called to complain), and if somebody were injured or killed by a cyclist, how often is the cyclist likely to attempt a runner?
Not often enough to warrant building an entire new administrative system for it.
🤬 OKAY FINE WHAT'S THIS ABOUT MY BRAIN FFS
In all these cases, the anger you feel says more about the human brain and our poorly designed cities than it does about the person on the bike.
The issue is how our brains process these encounters. When a cyclist makes a mistake, it feels personal and reinforces a powerful stereotype.
This isn’t just a feeling; it’s a well-documented cognitive bias. Behavioural economists like Daniel Kahneman call it the 'affect heuristic'.
It’s a mental shortcut where we unknowingly substitute a difficult question (like "What is the statistical risk posed by all cyclists?") with a much easier one: "How do I feel about that cyclist who just nearly became a messy bonnet ornament on my car?"
This is compounded by 'negativity dominance', where bad experiences have a greater impact on our psychological state than good ones. You don't remember the hundreds of safe cyclists that you barely notice; you remember the one who made you slam on the brakes.
Your brain latches onto that single, emotionally-charged event.
That one near-miss with a cyclist stands out in your memory far more than the fifty others who rode past predictably and safely.
(You should read the above bold lines a few times, really give them a home in your head.)
As motorists, we see other motorists do monumentally stupid things every single day. Someone merges without looking, camps in the right lane, or drifts across the line while on their phone. We get angry, maybe lean on the horn, but we rarely jump on social media to declare all drivers are a menace.
Why the double standard?
Because we see ourselves in that other driver.
We won't admit it to ourselves as a conscious thought (most humans aren't that self aware), but deep down we recognise that we, too, are motorists and have probably been guilty of similar dipshit behaviour at some point.
Our anger at other motorists is temporary because we don't define the entire group as "other". Although, as we know all too well, racism and sexism offer plenty of opportunities to make it work.
Cyclists, like other races and the opposite sex, represent an easy out-group to blame.
The difference is that while most folks have learned that racism and sexism won't help your argument in any mature society, cyclists represent 'a common enemy' for all motorists – meaning you can complain about them and probably get a roaring cheer from other motorists.
But, you're a smart guy. You know that if we all work together, with cyclists to get funding for proper cycling infrastructure, they wouldn't be hogging the lane!
Proper cycling infrastructure would even mean that more people will feel safe riding to work, which means LESS CARS! Less cars holding you up on your commute! Your commute will be faster and less stressful. HOLY SHIT!
So, as a smart guy, you're gonna hassle your local MP and your state leaders to allocate funding to those bike lanes. Right? Right!
This is where our frustration should be directed. Not at the individual rider, but at the local and state governments that consistently fail to invest in proper, separated cycling infrastructure.
We’re not talking about a painted line on the edge of a 60 km/h arterial road; that’s a cheap, political cop-out that helps no one. We’re talking about dedicated, protected bike lanes that give cyclists a direct and safe route to their destination without ever impeding the flow of traffic.
Of course, building this infrastructure is expensive and politically difficult. It takes space and capital. But the outcome — safer roads, less congestion, and reduced conflict — benefits everyone.
You hear all the time about how government parties are always pitting us against each other to take attention away from their shit work. This is one of those things.
It works, folks. After a year of living in Berlin, I know that one thing I'll miss most when we return to Melbourne next month is the cooperation between motorists and cyclists.
But the government put the money and time into infrastructure, to make it work!
In a year of cycling and e-scooting here (yep!), I've never once had a bad encounter with a motorist or a pedestrian. It's... utterly astonishing, and we can achieve it in Australia if we just try giving a shit.
Because, really, we can fight about it for years or we can just try working together on a solution that does right by all of us.
Let's grow the fuck up and have a try, yeah?
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